Resurrection.

You see I died a thousand times since you left me
And I stared down the barrel of a thousand loaded guns
I caught a midnight ride on a fast train headed somewhere
To be born again with the rising of the Southern sun
To be born again with the rising of the Southern sun
I am your Southern son.... Resurrection!
-Bleu Edmondson


Why is it that I always fall for the wrong guys?  Not like they are terrible men, bad boys, or even tools... my problem is that I fall for men WHO ARE NOT INTERESTED IN ME.   Yes ladies, what I'm talking about is unrequited love.... my expertise.  I mean did you give me any indication that you were interested in me besides the fact that you were nice to me? NO.

Yes good sir -you do pay for my meals on occasion (because you know how ridiculously poor I am) but does that mean that I should get a tattoo of you on my lower back and start planning our wedding?!? And maybe yes, you have done incredibly sweet things for me like fix my car, help me with some technical issues or bring a bottle of wine to my party BUT unlike any normal human being who would say that he is "sweet" or a "good boy" I decide to picture my future with you and how many children we will have!!  Ughhh what is wrong with me?!?

I have much too much common sense to continue in this inevitable heartache when I can and should easily recognize what a "I'm not interested" is.  I will no longer excuse your busyness for a good work ethic or bad timing.  I will not be made a fool of again.  I will not pursue you anymore mister!  I want to be pursued and wooed and so help me, if that means that I am the old cat lady until I'm 65 and it takes a man to realize my worth then that is what I will wait for! Its time for a resurrection of myself. 

So instead of shoving my face full of chocolate to deal with this small depression that has occurred since my recent (and re-occurring) realization I am going to work on myself and my goals for my life.

This is me. 

And one more because I love myself. A lot. 

Okay so I am 300 pounds. Yes I know- you can tell me that I carry it well or that I don't need lose weight or that I am beautiful (don't worry I know it!) but regardless I need to get fit and healthy.  I am sick of feeling sorry for myself, not believing that I CAN make a change, or that I am STRONG enough to stick to this program. There are so many things in my life that I have no control over, so many decisions, actions, reactions, and conclusions that I can't make go my way or change the outcome of but  I can change what I put into my body and I can change how often I exercise.  So here are my goals.

1. I'm going to STOP putting crap into my body.  Yes that means...... inhale - No more ALCOHOL.... exhale. This is going to be rough. Just breathe Michelle. Just breathe!  Its not that I am a alcoholic is just that if I want to be serious about this then I need to cut out the extra carbs. Regardless of what program you go on alcohol is the worse thing and the most useless points (weight watchers shout out - whoot woo) that you can do if your trying to lose weight.  On top of this I am going to cut back on my two loves. Cheese and peanut butter!! 

 

Ohh god how I love them. Not together but individually on anything and everything. Just saying.  (Sidenote: I'm going to cut back on a lot of other things too but I don't feel the need that you need to know these things and I'm just naming a few of my biggest obstacles to start...)

2. I'm going to start working out.... again.  I no longer have my pass to Lifetime Fitness -ugh how I miss you.... BUT with the weather getting nicer and the birds out a chirping I'm hoping to get back into my running shoes and start getting that heart rate up!

3. I'm going to work more on myself.  My health, my sanity, my relationship with the big man upstairs.... Its all about re-centering, re-clarifying things, out with the bad and in with the good.  I'm going to do everything in moderation and taking it one day at a time.  

End result: I wanna look like this. 

Haha just kidding!  Considering that I don't have an ass- just a back connected to a hole, I couldn't even get that if my whole front side moved to my back side. But I wouldn't mind looking like this... 

Golden Globe included. 

But in a all serious note- while I'm working on myself I challenge you all to work on yourselves.  None of us are perfect and we can all use a little fine tuning every once in awhile. 

Stay tuned kiddos... if only to get a new life changing amazing song per post.  ; ) 

Peace, 

Meesh